FAQ

Funny Aida Quirks

I AM

My mother is from Puerto Rico (which means she has a bad temper), my biological father is Dominican (he happens to be Hindu, go figure) and my Step-Dad is from Cuba… I am 1/3 Commonwealth, 1/3 Third World and 1/3 Political Prisoner.

VALUES AND PRINCIPLES

My mother kidnapped me from my dad, changed my name and relocated to the states.  She felt that “cheaters should not be with their kids”, let alone see them.  He found me on MySpace, thanks Tom.

BELIEF SYSTEM

My mother is Christian and my father is Hindu.  She believes:  he’s going to hell when he dies for not believing in Jesus, he believes: “when she dies, she’s coming back as a fucking rock”.

FAMILY HISTORY

My mother once dated a man on “FBI’s Most Wanted” list, a SWAT team visited our house, TOP THAT!

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I hung out with Muhammad Ali and stole towels from his hotel room.  I later sold those on Ebay for a full tank of gas and bag of groceries.

 

MARRIED LIFE

I was married to a Muslim when I was a teenager and it didn’t work out so well for my modeling career.  He wanted me to wear the “Hijab” but I discovered that Gucci doesn’t make Burkas.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

I am in several and when one of them proves to be lucrative, then and only then, will I disclose.

LIKES

I enjoy watching people fall, unruly children and bad movie outtakes.

DISLIKES

Like buttons, people that spit when they talk, ugly, horny men and people that get off  on trying to restore order.