The Top 5 Reasons Why I Need to Get My Life Together According the Net!

In this recent wave of negativity I have discovered that it is very easy to get caught up in the hype of gloom.  After reading comments about me on YouTube and LipStick Alley I could easily fall into a frenzy of defending myself and responding to the obviously embittered and sometimes downright cowardly internet bully community.  Instead I decided to work on me, in reality, that is the only person I can really change.  So here it goes, again in my most honest voice I will address some of the internet ganstas that have much to say about me.

5.  “You need to lose some weight, you fat, black, dirty pig, I hate you.”  Yes, I probably do.  I am sure that you are in tip top shape with all of the exercising you are getting on that key board.  And I am certain that you are beautiful and perfect which is why your profile picture is a picture of Taylor Swift.  You have to be thin, beautiful, talented and accomplished which is why you have the time to post 1,407 YouTube videos on your page.

4. “You hating bitch, you a hoe, you a bitch.”– Yes I am a hater, I probably the only person that has ever “hated” in the world.  Which is why when you Wikipedia “hating” a picture of me pops up with me stabbing a picture of Beyonce.  Hating is something you would never do, your IQ would never allow to engage in such a lowly activity.  I mean your vocabulary dictates that you are probably the shining star of your Mensa group.

3. “She stole that joke from Comic View.”  You got me!  I actually know many 5’10 Puerto Rican/Dominicans that were moved from Washington Heights to Miami that performed on Comic View.  As a matter of fact they had so many of us on the show, that we were banned from the show, because the lines were getting blurry and the story so common.  Thank you for pointing that out, I will work harder on telling my life story without the uncanny resemblance of the lives of the many African American males that were on BET in the 90’s, my bad.  You know the Puerto Rican woman and the Black Man, it’s so hard to distinguish between the two.

2. “This bitch ain’t even funny.” I know right?  I don’t know why I continue to delude myself into thinking that I can make people that don’t read, laugh.  I struggle with this shit daily, man I am so glad that you logged on today so that YOU can change my life’s purpose.  Because you are sooooooo important to society, I mean whatever would we do without that video you have on the net doing the Dougie in front of those 3 toddlers that look up to you.

1. ” This bitch, needs Jesus.” Were you taught to use “Jesus” and “bitch” in the same sentence, I mean it definitely has a greater impact.

It is amazing how some people can influence  your life.  When the cerebral community gets together to make a collective decision about us, we must listen.

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7 thoughts on “The Top 5 Reasons Why I Need to Get My Life Together According the Net!

  1. Aida Rodriguez…where do I begin. As a 5’10” African American Woman who struggled (scratch that)–“struggles” with weight and numerous issues, you are a breath of fresh air on a stagnant, smog-filled sunny L.A. day. You are beautiful, witty, charming, and “freaking hilarious.” I love that when I look at the Comedy Stage I can see my sister “Representin.” You’re doing It and you’re doing well.

    Keep Killing ’em Softly. ❤ ya Muchas!!!!
    Jess

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